Saturday, February 20, 2010

Norwegian Wood

The Olympic village should be turning into a big pile of sex about now. Before the Olympics started, I read a few things about the atmosphere in the Olympic village. Here’s an example. As far as I can tell, as soon as an athlete finishes competing, they start fucking their fellow athletes. So as more events are completed, more and more athletes join the party side of the village. I imagine that for once in their lives they can relax— relax in an atmosphere filled with equally hard-bodied ultra athletic superhumans like themselves. I’m sure there’s a few goody-two-shoe athletes wholesomely reading the bible (Hmmmm. Training 20 hours a day or Jesus. I wonder which one is responsible?). But most athletes must feel like they just entered the best dating scene of their lives. A village full of people in peak condition who have been depriving themselves of all good kinds of fun for four damn years. Then poof! You’re done! P-A-R-T-Y. This is a rather interesting atmosphere. So very Olympian. Have fun athletes!

8 comments:

  1. Like I said, my sister was close enough to that world during her speedskating years. Everything you mused about is true, and it happens at the lower-level competitions too. She had a lot of fun making out with some hot Norwegian dudes after some skating world cup event or other.

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  2. Arlenna: Thanks for the inside scoop. I'm having a hard time rooting for Ohno...what do you think: good guy or total douche?

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  3. He was always a nice guy as far as we knew, the short trackers and time trial people don't hang out a lot but nobody ever talked about him as a douche. Shani Davis was always kind of a brat, though, my mom and other sister remember him ALWAYS having to be called to the line because he as off goofing around. "Shani Davis, please report to the starting line, this is your LAST CALL..."

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  4. I bet those curlers have beer funnels in their suitcases!

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  5. the curlers certainly aren't powered by MFJ.
    jc

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  6. Um, speaking of sex, YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS. Watch the whole thing. You'll pass out.
    jc

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyWPyY9wyGM

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  7. OMG, Thank you for that link jc! This might sound weird, but after watching that, I like Plushenko WAY better than I did yesterday. That was the "bomb." Clearly, he is not quite the grumpy Russian buzzkill that I thought he was.

    And I love when the announcer says, "It makes his feet look very small." By "it," does she mean his muscle costume? Or his gold speedo?

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  8. JC, you were right: I passed out!

    Imagine the genetic jackpot any child conceived in the Olympic Village would hit.

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