Monday, April 26, 2010

Here Nor There

Brace yourselves because I have one very long ramble in me. This is one of those blog posts that will be far, far too long. Random observations will be flying, tangents are inevitable and I might even need to include footnotes. Boredom for you, my dear readers, is imminent. So you know, expect to start reading but then feel free to switch to skimming, or gouging your eyes out, or heavy drinking. But I haven’t written one of these in awhile. Why is that? I don’t really know. It finally started to get a little sunny, I put in a patio, it was 4/20, I did some work… I could provide you with many possible excuses. But none of them are really the issue. I just sorta lost interest. I mean, it’s not that I don’t like blogging. Because I do. And I like the readers of this thing- you people are interesting. Sorry to call you “you people” but I mean that kindly my intertubes peeps. I can also admit that blogging provides a unique thrill. Isn’t it exciting to get a comment? They never cease to amaze me. And I have blogs that I read regularly. Blog reading and writing just became an everyday part of my life. And then it didn’t. And how many sentences can I start with And anyway?

My interest just waned. I just did other stuff. I got thoroughly emerged into the luxury of sabbatical. I’m not going to say that it’s just been one big party. It hasn’t. I’ve done some work, enough to keep up my end of the sabbatical bargain. But you know, I haven’t been this free of obligations since I was probably 14. I’ve just been doing the things I always wished I had more time to do. Blogging, enjoyable as it is, just got a bit lost in the shuffle. It’s like that jar of fancy olives you buy that ends pushed into the back of your fridge where it sits forgotten about until one day you grope around back there in your fridges nether regions. And you realize holy shit I have yummy olives! So you pop a few in your mouth and check the liquor stash for martini fixings. So I’m back. I’m emerging from a blog reading and writing hiatus, cocktail shaker in hand.

Huh? What just happened there? Did I just compare blogging to forgotten pickled products in fridge nether regions? Yes sirrreee I did. What the fuck? I also just realized that my absence in blog world has been noticed. Shit. What can I say? What was I trying to say? I can’t really explain it. I was just laying low. No, I know! I just ran out for some ice! YES. Ice. See, look in the freezer. I got that ice. Enjoy! Fuck. What am I doing? I don’t know. I’m at THAT stage of sabbatical. Granted, indecision is a luxury. But…crap. I have lots of…lots of, well, chapters. I need a few more though. But fuck. A tropical island awaits me.

My brain has had two preoccupations lately. One is a panicky sense of needing to finish something- reminiscent of the final stages of dissertation writing. The other is absolute excitement at the prospect of sunny beaches and cold beer. You’d think I could work this situation to my advantage. Not a lot of mental gymnastics involved in committing myself to working and then celebrating in the ocean. But, ugh. I just want to skip ahead to the fun part. Damn.