Friday, February 19, 2010

Make The Call. Make The Call Now!

The Olympics have inspired me to pursue my own dream. Not the dream where I’m in the movie Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (where in addition to badass martial art skills I have all kinds of great sex), not the dream where I discover that I’ve forgotten to attend a class for the entire semester and magically appear at the final exam completely unprepared, and not the dream where the MacArthur Genius Grant folks show up at my door with a giant Publishers Clearinghouse style check. Not those dreams. This dream:

I’ve tacked this up at my local ice-skating rink. I can’t wait for destiny to call!

19 comments:

  1. I have a crate of clothes being packed as we speak.

    p.s. I was in a Philosopher of Dazzle program, but failed the comps. Still hurts, to this day.

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  2. I'm sorry, Jenny, but your fancy-pants (and -tights, and -leotards) academic degree will never equal the months of experience I gained slaving over my Bedazzler every night in middle school. There are some things the effete intelligentsia will never take away from Real Americans.

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  3. Proflike: So sorry to make you relive the pain, I guess you had to settle for some kind of science degree- a real shame.

    Pander: These thumb blisters are real. And FYI Ben Franklin developed the first bedazzler- something you would know had you read my groundbreaking dissertation "Early Reflections: Making America Shiny."

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  4. I read your groundbreaking dissertation. Kudos! Did you happen to see mine? It was called "*(Be)*Daz*zle*(d)*: The Semiotics of Sparkles in American Popular Culture."

    You know, we *may* have to have a Bedazzler Conference.

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  5. Ink: Of course I did! After seeing it cited so many times I ran right out to Jo-Ann Fabrics and purchased a copy!

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  6. Jo-Ann Fabrics? LMAO!

    So what do you think about a conference? It would have to be in Las Vegas. Because of Teh Shiny...

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  7. I volunteer to work on the nametags, but we'll need to organize symposia, line up discussants, plan the banquet, etc. Vegas is a good option- but it'll be hard to live up to our last meeting at Dollywood.

    Get those abstracts together everyone!

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  8. My bedazzled ass just got scooped by Ben Franklin!!!?!?!
    jc

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  9. Sure. I can do a rundown of bedazzled asses of the millennium, with Ben Franklin in the hot seat.
    jc

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  10. Olympics Fans: I think Lysacek handled that Costas interview well. He made some good points about the scoring system and managed to be gracious while Costas crammed Plushenko quotes down his throat.

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  11. I know! I added Costas to my list of asses to cover. He's definitely got rhinestones jammed up in there like Plushenko.
    jc

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  12. You're right about Dollywood. Hard to decide between bewigged, bedazzled show girls and bewigged, bedazzled country singers.

    Who should be our keynote speaker?

    And Pleshenko's interview behavior might make the judges yearn for an opportunity to add some points to Johnny's score. ("I do quad. I should win.")

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  13. Hmmmmm. Good question. I'll have to think about who might be up to the keynote speaker challenge...suggestions?

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  14. Easy call on keynote...the inventor of the see-through magi-fabric on which you dazzling costume magic makers craft your genius.
    I'd like to propose a panel on counter-hegemonic use of matte and neutral fabrics in ice dancing. My paper? (De)constructing Vision: Simulacra and (Un)Dressing

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  15. Oooh, good paper. Who wants to join Naptimes panel?

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  16. Program should be changed to note the *simulycra* in deconstructing fleshy fabrics.

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  17. Delurking to say yes, but have you considered going into vajazzling?

    I wish I was making that up.

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