We can add an additional dimension to this paper breakdown: curiosity. Curiosity level is a distinct factor in my paper reading order. Some papers, even ones that suck, are about things I at least find interesting. Some great papers are about things that I find painfully boring. I hate staring down a paper to grade that is about tedious minutia. I know, I’m supposed to be objective— but some topics are just fucking boring. Boring because they are inconsequential, overdone, wrong, and/or just undeniably boring, boring because they just are. These papers fucking suck in a different way.
Formatting. This matters to me too. I will not allow you to become the kind of asshole whose sloppy/non-existent attention to formatting will piss off your co-authors, editors, and colleagues in your future employment years. These people take suckitude into a new realm.
Ugh, just when the semester is almost over, the impending paper stack emerges. I don’t want to think about it anymore. I’ll have another drink.