Monday, April 27, 2009

I Wonder…(Part II)

What would happen if I walked into class and left my ipod in? If I just pantomimed my way through a lecture while I actually rocked out in my own little ipod world? It would look like I was teaching, just like it looks like you (chick in the 7th row to the left) are paying attention to me. Or, what if I lectured and played a video game at the same time? Instead of slides, you could see my game. Or if I just decided to work on the campus newspaper crossword puzzle (how can that take you all class period? It’s ridiculously easy, if you want, I can just give you all the answers in the first 2 minutes of class). Hmmm…what if I just interrupted class to take a call on my cell phone, or sent a text message or two. Oooh I know, what if I just ripped off a lecture from the internet. You know, it would be completely and obviously distinct from my usual lecture style. The organization would be different, the format of my slides would be different, it would just scream “I DIDN’T DO THIS” but I just passed it off to you like it was my own work. I will have to try these things. I’ll consider it pedagogical research and will begin as soon as I get tenure.

65 comments:

  1. I hope you're booting these degenerates out, old school style, or do their parents' companies pay for all sorts of Faculty grants and prizes?

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  2. Can't tell you how much I am feeling this post. Did you ever notice that the rudest and most blatant offenders are the most quickly offended if you dare to suggest that the behavior might be paused or stopped? Perhaps we need a coffee-cup saying for them, too!

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  3. coffee cup saying: eat shit and die.

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  4. The Onion sells a coffee cup that says "Fuck Off"...I've been wanting to buy it for months now.

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  5. I want a t-shirt with this post on it. I might even include it in my next syllabus (properly attributed, of course).

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  6. You could do the passive aggressive approach with the t-shirt.
    http://shop.cafepress.com/fuck-off

    They also have mugs.
    http://mugs.cafepress.com/fuck-off

    You deserve a sabbatical gift Dr. No.

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  7. Clio: Do it! It'll give me something to put on my blog vita.

    Anon: Damn right, check out my shiny new mug- thanks!

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  8. Wow that's a cryptic passive aggressive mug! It's like the ol' "read between the lines" 3 fingers gesture. This mug is mysteriously brought to you by the letters F, U, and O.

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  9. Do it. One of my professors would frequently stop in the middle of lecture to talk to his wife who apparently thought at any given moment he was engaging in an affair. Or maybe she was just reminding him to grab milk after work. We'll never know. However his behavior induced us to act like little angels so we could sanctimoniously proclaim 'I would never do such a thing'. Now that I think about it I'm pretty sure he was a brilliant reverse psychologist.

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  10. [in an email from one of your students]

    What does your new coffee mug say? I can't see it from the 7th row. Is it Duck Doff? Luck Toff? And will that be on the exam?

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  11. AAAHHHHHHA HA HA!

    [oh, and you'll have to get notes from another student 'cause I'll be expecting a three page essay on what my coffee mug means to you and what it means for your final grade]

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  12. Laughing. Too. Hard.

    [What are notes? Like, musical notes? Because I live in iPod world.]

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  13. Fantastic. And this is the point in the semester when you know just how futile it is to keep lecturing, so the temptation really is quite substantial.

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  14. but. like. oh my god, this is so boring, and we have to take notes ? all we do is talk, so, like, whats the difference ? i was just checking the time and I can't believe how rude you are Dr. No, like i never text in class, and I don't have the music ON, I just wear the earbuds, and, like, i have to tell my friends i'm going to meet them after class, i can't believe you're so uptight, we're TRYING and i was texting about something in this class because that's x, and he wants to know if he's missing anything, so is he ?
    [Just thought you might miss it if you haven't had your daily dose today]

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  15. These comments are like really long, is there like a summary or something? Is this on the like study guide? Yeah. I was like super sick when you passed out the study guide. Can I like have one? Yeah. A study guide.

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  16. And that other time? I was like scheduled to work during that class. So you're excusing my absence, right? Because I don't think it should count against me.

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  17. Yeah, me too. Cause like me and my roomates (Ink, Bobba, and Ahist) had to like meet with our landlord, and then Clio's car broke down so we had to like give her a ride to work and then pick up Hermitage and Anon, and then like Hopeful called all sick...Yeah, anyway, I need like 10 study guides and here's our assignments (late, half-finished rumpled papers with identical answers). Thanks!!!

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  18. Gasping for air due to intense fit of laughter...

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  19. I had a couple of different profs who would prowl around the room as they lectured. Kept everyone on edge and paying attention. I've also seen profs sneak up on sleeping students and scare the crap out of them, creeping up behind their seats and yelling "BOOM!". People quickly stopped falling asleep.

    However, I've also seen students blatantly text the entire time. In interest of disclosure, I should add that I spent most of the lectures of the history course I was required to take reading Current Opinion in Immunology instead.

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  20. Hey, thanks for the pick-me-up. Wanna pick up my dry cleaning too while you're making the rounds?
    Oh, nevermind... I just read your mug. You're busy fucking the Hoff.
    In that case, KIT, I need backup!

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  21. What do you mean there's no study guide ? I can't re-read all the powerpoints, totally. I really like your mug, Dr. No: u can kiss or fail fast, i texted that to all my friends, lol: uckoff. So, I WAS super sick when you didn't pass out the study guide, ink said we didn't do anything, and here's my ticket I had to go to court for when I missed the next class, so I don't get what you mean that the notes are the study guide. lol, you can e-mail it to me as soon as you finish it. Sorry you're so behind. :-)

    [Okay, I'll stop. But I'm getting out a lot of aggression here in between fits of laughter.]

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  22. I just can't believe how much your students sound like my students. I thought it was all happening to me just because I was a TA. Oh mannnnnnn.

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  23. Good doctor, you must come see what Pander found (in comments of my last post)...it's herkylicious!

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  24. *******JUST DO WHAT INK SAYS EVERYBODY*********

    (It is a thing of beauty that will leave all Herky Club members speechless)

    (if you are not a member of the Herky Club, send $20 in a self-addressed envelope with 1 UPC symbol from a Cheetohs bag directly to me)

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  25. (Oh, or visit your nearest Herky blog or clinic)

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  26. "send $20 in a self-addressed envelope with 1 UPC symbol from a Cheetohs bag directly to me" = brilliant and hilarious!

    Yes, by jove, that's brillarious!

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  27. Will this lecture be on podcast? It sure would be super keen if I could listen to this while I am at the gym because that is my learning style.

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  28. Personally, I am trying to perfect the wide-open-sees-nothing stare that seems to hover somewhere over my left shoulder and that several of my students are using to great effect this semester.

    Love this post. Love the comments. Glad to find I'm not alone in this.

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  29. Can I be in your class? You are funny. Way more funny then the old dudes I had in college. And, yes I went to (and graduated from) college, even if you won't be able to tell by what's posted on my blog if you follow my link:)

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  30. I find blatant public humiliation to be a great deterrent to behaviors such as you describe. If they act like they're in junior high, I treat them as such, but I let them know up front on the first day. It's all laid out in the syllabus, so it's okay.

    If a student's phone rings during a lecture, I answer it. My end of the conversation goes something like this (as the offending student squirms and blushes openly):

    "Hello? ...No, you have the right number. This is Jennifer's phone. ... This is Dr. Brainiac. ... Yeah, Dr. Brainiac - you know, Jennifer's Psychology professor? ... Yeah, we're in the middle of lecture right now so she can't talk. ... You know she's in college, right? ...You know it's rude to call someone while they're in class, right? ... Okay, great. So can I take a message? ... Okaybye." Then I end the call and tell the student she needs to call her BFF Stephanie.

    This happens exactly once in each class each semester - usually about a week into the class.

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  31. I feel your pain. I just graduated from a community college program where I was required to sit in a small class with a bunch of losers. A quarter of the class was paying attention to the lecture. A quarter of the students were either talking to their neighbors, texting, sleeping, doodling, mumbling into their phones, or they were daydreaming. Some of the students would drift out of the class to accept phone calls. Some of the students talked openly on their cells and were unaware of how distracting their talking was to the other students. There are some really awful community college technical programs out there and I saw it first hand. I graduated from the program with straight A's and I made lots of reports to the Powers That Be at the school. NO one really seemed to care about what Diploma Mills the technical programs have become. I'm now working on a BS degree and I'm excited to be surrounded by like-minded peers who are in school to learn. I'm deeply saddened that my instructors at the community college didn't kick out of flunk the trouble makers in my classes. The trouble makers made the classroom experience excrutiating for me to tolerate. I enjoy a good lecture and these undisciplined goof-offs ruined the experience for me.

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  32. Fantastic post and comments. SO happy to find I am not alone.

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  33. I'm a new grad student, and I see it in grad clases as well. We are getting these morons too, even way up in grad school!!! Made me press for all independant study courses. I can't stand to be in the classroom anymore!

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  34. Fail them! Fail them all! Why are they STILL in classes with me?

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    Replies
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