Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Hey, I Know!

Let’s NOT. Let’s not have a meeting. Let’s act like that email you sent to some of us NEVER HAPPENED. Mmmkay? Listen my dear colleague, my dear, uh, Dr. Gabriel, (I just bestowed that name upon you because you have been fucking up BIG TIME) a meeting will do you no good. You have a multi-year track record of serious fuck-ups. I’m sorry (not really) that internal report just slammed your ass, I’m sorry (not really) the Dean is pissed at you, and I’m sorry (not in the slightest) that your reign of fucking up has now reared its ugly head and has taken a serious bite out of your ass. We, your meeting invitees, can’t fix any of that. Your ass cannot be reclaimed. Spend this scheduled meeting time getting your shit together (you know, because your ass is gone) and stop with the big time fuck-ups. Work on some average sized disasters and work your way down to the mini catastrophe. With enough hard work you could probably start engaging in micro fuck-ups within a year. There will be no meeting. I have to go get my big fat head onto my snow white pillow now.

10 comments:

  1. he he. Funny. How cool would it be if Dr. Gabriel could actually read this.

    ReplyDelete
  2. He He He. You crack me up.... we all dream that we could be so honest face to face...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think Herky Queen is mocking Gabriel. She figured him out. That's why she got that smug look about her. She knows what he did last summer...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love the extended ass/shit metaphor.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ok, we clearly work in the same department as you just described two of my senior colleagues.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think I worked for that guy once.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, I'm all about not having a meeting. Anywhere, anytime.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I too am very familiar with excessive meetings due to colleague douche-baggery...

    ReplyDelete