Monday, March 16, 2009
Hey Shorts-and-Hawaiian-Shirt-Dude, what’s the deal? Every campus has a few of you. I sorta “get” Mohawk-Dude, Football-Game-Chest-Painter-Dude, Pretty-Chick-with-Crazy-Bike-Girl, and Secret-Slut-Nerd. But you remain an enigma. What about your getup is remotely cool? Cool, in a non-what the temperature of your body must be kind of way. You are everywhere it gets cold. For all I know you may be lurking in warmer climates but you are so well camouflaged amongst the appropriately dressed that I just can’t identify you. Why are you compelled to do this? Put some damn pants on, and a jacket, and maybe some gloves. You definitely need to put some shoes on that aren’t flip-flops. I am curious as to how you got this way. When did you decide to be Shorts-and-Hawaiian-Shirt-Dude? Does it run in your family? Did you aspire to this as a young lad? Are you friends with this guy? (are you this guy?) More importantly, did you mention this on your application? I am pretty sure, make that certain, that we have far exceeded our Shorts-and-Hawaiian-Shirt-Dude quota. This campus will no longer be admitting your type, please transfer to warmer climates.