Hey Shorts-and-Hawaiian-Shirt-Dude, what’s the deal? Every campus has a few of you. I sorta “get” Mohawk-Dude, Football-Game-Chest-Painter-Dude, Pretty-Chick-with-Crazy-Bike-Girl, and Secret-Slut-Nerd. But you remain an enigma. What about your getup is remotely cool? Cool, in a non-what the temperature of your body must be kind of way. You are everywhere it gets cold. For all I know you may be lurking in warmer climates but you are so well camouflaged amongst the appropriately dressed that I just can’t identify you. Why are you compelled to do this? Put some damn pants on, and a jacket, and maybe some gloves. You definitely need to put some shoes on that aren’t flip-flops. I am curious as to how you got this way. When did you decide to be Shorts-and-Hawaiian-Shirt-Dude? Does it run in your family? Did you aspire to this as a young lad? Are you friends with this guy? (are you this guy?) More importantly, did you mention this on your application? I am pretty sure, make that certain, that we have far exceeded our Shorts-and-Hawaiian-Shirt-Dude quota. This campus will no longer be admitting your type, please transfer to warmer climates.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Who Are You?
Hey Shorts-and-Hawaiian-Shirt-Dude, what’s the deal? Every campus has a few of you. I sorta “get” Mohawk-Dude, Football-Game-Chest-Painter-Dude, Pretty-Chick-with-Crazy-Bike-Girl, and Secret-Slut-Nerd. But you remain an enigma. What about your getup is remotely cool? Cool, in a non-what the temperature of your body must be kind of way. You are everywhere it gets cold. For all I know you may be lurking in warmer climates but you are so well camouflaged amongst the appropriately dressed that I just can’t identify you. Why are you compelled to do this? Put some damn pants on, and a jacket, and maybe some gloves. You definitely need to put some shoes on that aren’t flip-flops. I am curious as to how you got this way. When did you decide to be Shorts-and-Hawaiian-Shirt-Dude? Does it run in your family? Did you aspire to this as a young lad? Are you friends with this guy? (are you this guy?) More importantly, did you mention this on your application? I am pretty sure, make that certain, that we have far exceeded our Shorts-and-Hawaiian-Shirt-Dude quota. This campus will no longer be admitting your type, please transfer to warmer climates.
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Oh, this makes me laugh. It's SNOWING today, at least a few inches so far (yeah, spring is almost here, what of it?) and Hawaiian Shorts- flip flop dudette just strolled by my window! The female of the species is a rare, yet they do exist....
ReplyDeleteSoooo funny. And from this day forward, I will be constantly fighting the urge to yell, "Hey Shorts-and-Hawaiian-Shirt-Dude, what’s the deal?"
ReplyDeleteHey, if they aren't averse to losing a precious body part to frostbite, who am I to judge?
ReplyDelete