This is bad. There is no way around it. No possible way of denying it. Nope. Fuck, I suck. OK, let’s approach this scientifically. Perhaps I missed something… Here’s what I know. You missed the first day of class. You arrived on the second meeting. I didn’t bring my official class list, you introduced yourself as R.J. and explained your previous absence. I made a mental note: His name is RJ, remember that damnit! [Flash-forward, Lost-style to many weeks ahead] You have established yourself as a great student. I make a mental note: RJ is a thoughtful student, be sure to encourage RJ to participate in class discussions more. [Flash-forward to many, many weeks ahead] We discussed meeting to talk about your final project after class. We set up a time. I made a mental note: Meeting with RJ on Friday at 1:00.
[We are now back in the present, Lost-style] I realize I have another meeting Friday at 1:00. I make a mental note: Email RJ, apologize for cancelling and set up a new time to meet. I attempt look up your email address. Mental note: I have no clue what RJ’s last name is, damn. I attempt look up your email address by going to handy-dandy giant University clusterfuck administrative system by accessing my class list. Hhm. There is no one here with a name that could possibly be RJ. I examine the entire list, there is only one name that I do not recognize. It does not, in any fathomable way, contain any combination of words or letters that could possibly be shortened to RJ. Mental note: Whaaaaaat? I took a chance. I emailed mystery person (making no reference to names). I received a response.
[Flashback, Lost-style] Hi Dr. No, my name is *giant explosion* (….wait 5 episodes) C.T., sorry I missed the first class. [Back to the quasi-present] I stare at your pleasant, good student-like, email response. I make a mental note: I am an asshole. How many times did I call you RJ? Many. I am making a mental note: I am an asshole, or this guy is Benjamin Linus. Upon scientifically reviewing the sequence of events, the conclusion is evident: I am an asshole.