Sunday, March 29, 2009
You want me to be a what? Graduation Marshall? What is that? Do I get a badge? No badges? Please Dean’s office stop asking me to do this stuff. I have put in my graduation ceremony time. I have worn the crazy outfit, I have listened to our shitty band, and heard our President give the same lame speech. You are going to have to hit up someone else. Unless you can guarantee to me that there will a be a streaker, at least two incidents of a grabbed microphone for shouting political statements, a drunken brawl, and you pay me for my time (and maybe give me one of those leis all the Hawaiians wear)— forget it, I’m too busy.