Fuck that. I just don’t give a shit. Why do I care about making learning “easier”? Easier? Fuck that. Look, I’m all for trying to be a decent teacher. I am willing to put some thought and effort into the task. But I have zero interest in making it fucking “easy”. Some shit just ain’t easy. It’s not easy for me and it won’t be easy for my students. That’s fucking college. So fuck you and your lame seminars about how I can make things “easier” for my students. What fucking good comes of easy?Who runs these seminars? More pertinently, who the fuck comes up with the titles? Making Your Class Easier for Your Students. Now why the hell would I want to do that? And who the fuck needs a seminar about it? It would be easy to make my classes easy. We all know how to make our classes easy for students and ourselves. I mean think about that for a minute. Did any of you need longer than that to design the easiest motherfucking class ever? No. It’s easy. It’s also crap.
Easy is for right now- a sunny Friday afternoon. I’ll be holding a seminar on my patio titled How to Pass an Easy Afternoon Through Sunshine and Substances. Sign up now to secure your spot!
Count me in for the easy afternoon seminar on "Sunshine and Substances"!
ReplyDeleteDo you still have room in that seminar? I'll be right over. Do you have a supplies list handy? I'll stop and pick some up on the way.
ReplyDeleteI would really like to attend, but I'll have to come in halfway through, ok? I'm already going to a required seminar on How To Make Your Students Happy At All Costs No Matter How Many Classes They Miss And How Little Work They Are Willing To Do.
ReplyDeleteHey, Dr. No, your seminar sounds really cool, but I just have a lot on my plate right now and I was wondering what the commitment would be like. For one thing, I have ultimate frisbee practice every Friday from 5-7, so I would have to leave class after the first ten minutes every day. Also, since I won't be around to discuss most of the reading, I feel it's only fair that I shouldn't have to do more than five pages of preparation a week. Oh, and how are we being graded? I don't think it's right for you to give us an exam, the material is so subjective and that just rewards the faster thinkers anyway. But an essay is SO much work. Can we be graded on participation, but to remove your bias, not on how good what we say is but by how much we talk?
ReplyDeleteOdyssey: Plenty of room! Be sure to bring your most recent syllabus and course evaluations for the bonfire. An extra bottle opener would be good, some munchie food, and if you happen to own a slip-n-slide please bring it.
ReplyDeleteInk: OK you can be late- but you better bring popsicles or something equally good.
Pander: How about you just give me $50 and we call it good?
ReplyDeleteCan I sit next to GEW? She takes great notes.
ReplyDeleteBullshit button? Christ, my face usually gives away what I'm thinking instantaneously. It's like I have a flashing neon sign, the this-is-not-happening you-are-shitting-me look.
jc
God, sign me up. Please. I'll bring the papers I have to grade plus a case of vodka and we can down a shot every time one of the students uses the word 'iconic'.
ReplyDeleteDeal. I'll bring Scotchcicles.
ReplyDeleteScotchcicles! Damn. Ink you just go promoted from participant to co-leader of the seminar.
ReplyDeleteToot toot! I will bring the beef.
ReplyDeleteFYI, Scotch doesn't freeze.
ReplyDeleteDAMN. Good point. Scotch snow-cones it is.
ReplyDeleteSign me up for the seminar with the Scotch, please.
ReplyDeleteThe seminar for easier classes? They can stick that shit where the sun don't shine -- which, given the both the level of stupidity and level of rectal-cranial inversion going on here, could be either end.
I totally missed the seminar because I didn't check my email and I didn't know when it was on.
ReplyDeleteCan I still get an A?
I bet the seminar at your patio is far more interesting than attending a seminar for making studies easier. Studying needs a discipline and practices and not seminars! However, these seminars are found to be acceptable for some people. You do not have to fret over those seminars if you already well-acquainted with proper strategies of teaching.
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