I recently found myself in a car with one of my colleagues. We were snarkily discussing the distribution of a small pot of money by our department head. We got miniscule raises (yes, raises, I know, shocking). We were wondering where the hell the money could have gone…even our miniscule raises do not add up to the money pot. I look over. The car rapidly approaching, then passing us is a very expensive little foreign convertible. Driving the car? Department head. I shit you not. It could only have been better if a bikini clad Tawny Kitaen was in the passenger seat and $100 bills were flying out.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Giving Head (or not)
I recently found myself in a car with one of my colleagues. We were snarkily discussing the distribution of a small pot of money by our department head. We got miniscule raises (yes, raises, I know, shocking). We were wondering where the hell the money could have gone…even our miniscule raises do not add up to the money pot. I look over. The car rapidly approaching, then passing us is a very expensive little foreign convertible. Driving the car? Department head. I shit you not. It could only have been better if a bikini clad Tawny Kitaen was in the passenger seat and $100 bills were flying out.
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Totally unrelated, but I had an exam this week in which one of the questions featured a "Dr. No" who was examining nuclear power plants. I pictured it as you the whole time.
ReplyDeleteWhat is this thing "raise" of which you speak?
ReplyDeleteMany of our administrators (not Chairs, who are just poor faculty who said "yes") have Lexus SUVs (Lexi??).
ReplyDeleteMy 1999 Honda Civic is losing its purple paint....
Love the Whitesnake video reference! I saw them in concert, you know. *Cough*
ReplyDeletePanderbear: You better have aced that test, did you recieve my ESP answer messages?
ReplyDeleteGayProf: Raises are a highly elusive species that reside in University coffers, their habitat is rapidly being depleted- they are currently suffering from localized extinction events. They are very similar to that woodpecker everyone was crazy about awhile back.
Annieem: Lexi. Excellent new word, driven by assi.
GEW: No way!!!!
I got your ESP loud and clear, but all I kept hearing was you mentally composing odes to Cheetos! "Orange and crunchy, you save me when munchy..." It was lovely, but I really needed to know whether they had the right to cross examine you!
ReplyDeleteSigh. At least I was not literally crying post-exam like some of my classmates.
That is SUCH a movie moment. It would have been scored with Peter Gabriel's "Big Time" and shot in slow mo...
ReplyDeleteHey, at least your Dept Head doesn't come sailing into school on his shiny new Ducati Motorcycle. Or make sure to rev it up super loud before he leaves just in case you forgot how much cooler he is than you .
ReplyDeleteA Ducati? That really ups the ante, I'll have to aspire to arriving at work in a yacht.
ReplyDeletePretty awesome. I hear that in some big pharma companies, the president has a chauffered Lexus with an armed bodyguard. Just a rumor, though...
ReplyDelete