Sunday, May 10, 2009
I’m going to write two versions of this. If you want to read something happy, proceed to Page 1. If you want to read angry snark, go to Page 2.
Hell yeah VACATION. (By selecting Page 1 you have chosen a path that has nothing to do with academic matters. If you would like me to rant about work, please select Page 2. Did I not make that clear?) I am going somewhere awesome. “Awesome” is a stupid word that has regrettably entered my vocabulary. But this time I mean it, awesome. It is very far from here, has palm trees, and long beaches with few people on them. Seafood. Drinks. Sunshine. To me, a vacation is not a vacation unless it involves scary turboprop planes that land on tiny airstrips. When, if the plane fails to land properly, you end up in the ocean. Listen, museums, architecture, mass transit systems, restaurants…they’re all good. But they do not constitute vacation. Vacation is all snorkeling, plants you’ve never seen before, shells, fruit, tan lines, and booze under an unfamiliar but starrified sky. That’s vacation.
WHY WON’T THIS END? Fucking school, end already! I want (need) out of here. It’s like every time I try to leave I am trapped by some stupid task. (If you would like to know why I so desperately need this semester to end, beyond the usual end of semester insanity, please read Page 1). What else can I possibly sign for a student before I leave. Can I just autograph all their asses? Will that get them through my sabbatical? What additional shit can I possibly do? Yes, please! Ask me ALL the questions, ask for all the files, send me all the emails right now please! I love DESPERATELY wanting to just get this semester over with and being deluged by petty tasks. Really, it’s awesome. Great, the phone’s ringing. The phone stopped ringing. I think I broke it.
I’m outta here! Unless the Professor from Gilligan’s Island happens to be vacationing on the same island as me and can build me a computer and internet connection (with some coconuts and tropical vines of course, which we will use to read Acadamnit as opposed to seeking rescue) I’ll be back to type at you in a week or so.