Thursday, May 28, 2009
Motherfuck. Who the fuck spends that much time picking out a fucking potato? Get out of my way Potato-Freak-Person. I just need one of those onions over there and you are soooooo in the way. It’s a fucking potato. This is not some delicate produce issue. A potato is not a finicky and possibly delicious fruit, it does not require the scrutiny. Is it NOT rotten? Is it NOT sprouting? Then fucking buy it. Let that potato win the motherfucking Ultimate Potato of the Universe prize and pick it up already! Put it in a bag if you want, just scoot the fuck over and stop blocking the onions. You still seem to be examining the motherfucking potatoes. Why? What special function do you possibly have in mind for them? Your options are to bake the living shit out of them, smash the shit out of them, or fry the shit out of them. Whatever you choose, all the potatoes in front of you will perform equally well. I could run home and get you one of my potatoes faster than you are capable of selecting one from a SEA, a fucking SEA, of equivalent potatoes. Fuck you. I am going in for an onion. I hope melons aren’t on your shopping list fucker.