Monday, November 2, 2009

Next Time Call A Cab

Elaborate, or think of it as “e” (the letter and drug that you should have administered to the audience) “labor” (we did, through 78 minutes) “ate” (a giant slice of random tangent pie with moderately amusing anecdote sauce, as in what you had for lunch). I don’t know how to explain it. You gave a talk. I went to listen. You spent forever elaborating on the boring parts and skimping on the good stuff. You seem well-spoken, well-read, and very experienced on the subject matter. You are pleasant to listen to. I somehow like you, but you just kept going on and on about the trivial parts. You skipped past some mighty interesting slides. I saw graphs! A diagram of some sort! Pretty pictures in some fancy lab! But you just kept right on driving. Driving like a nervous granny right past the exit to Interestingville and Relevancy Avenue. I thought for sure you would get off at Important Implication Town, but no. You just kept right on going. We ended up driving 5mph on a one-way road lost somewhere in the Useless Elaboration District. So, thanks for the ride I guess. I really did want to get somewhere today, I did come out of the cave for you after all… oh well.


  1. Oh my. Were we at the same event? Perhaps instead of an egg timer we need road signs at conferences/talks?

  2. This is why I stopped going to departmental seminar. Nobody knows how to drive and it's only a matter of time until there's going to be some horrific accident. I don't want to be there when it happens.

  3. HA! I'm wondering about potential explanations...

    Maybe: Had This Whole Thing Perfectly Planned But Freaked Out When Faced With Audience Of Colleagues?

    Or: Put This Presentation Together To Create Line Item For Tenure Dossier But Don't Really Give A Crap Otherwise?

    But Probably: Spent Halloween Weekend Drinking and Doing Monster Mash, Then Had To Give This Talk Hungover.

  4. Annieem: ...and big blinking lights, flares, and rumble strips, could be fun.

    Chelsea Belle: Thanks.

    Ambivalent: Somebody needs to be there to administer roadside assistance, consider it a public service.

    Ink: Those are reasonable explanations- quite plausible really.

  5. One more plausible explanation - the whole thing made perfect sense when written while hopped up on chocolate and sugar from left over Halloween candy...clearly the speaker should have provided each of you with a big bowl of candy to consume during the talk to get the correct effect

  6. Or it just still makes sense to presenter and you have better taste and a better intellectual capacity.

    Some people are bright but not *that* bright, you know?

    But overall you liked my presentation, right?

  7. Oh of course Naptime! That tangent you went on about the weather, the one that lasted for a solid 10 minutes was fantastic! See, I'm, still talking about it!

  8. ugh, I hope people don't feel this way about my talks. the last one I gave, 2 people fell asleep. that doesn't usually happen. maybe I drove through the important parts too fast and meandered too much... sadly it's hard to get people to give their honest opinion.

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