What gives? Yet again you have failed to award me a Genius Grant. You seem to favor the type of genius that creates tangible evidence of their scientific and artistic prowess. I have to cry foul! How prejudice of you! What about us geniuses that perform our amazing acts of disease curing and culture changing in a purely imaginary realm? (and no, an imaginary $500,000 won’t do). Just because my geniosity (see! I can make up words, we geniuses do that) has resulted in no tangible manifestations does not mean you should overlook me.How kick-ass must it be to win one of those things? Can you imagine? …oh nothing much new with me, you know, just been hanging out and winning a MacArthur Genius Grant. …oh that? It’s just a little something I picked up with my MacArthur Genius Grant check. …oh hi there Tenure & Promotion committee, well, let’s see, I did win a MacArthur Genius Grant, does that count? Damn.
I totally imagined myself into your project, so yeah, where's our genius award? The nerve.
ReplyDeleteI am glad I am not the only one who fantasizes about this. God, that would be a good day, when the phone rings & it's the MacArthur genius folks on the phone ...
ReplyDeleteIf it is any consolation, I am thrilled to present you with the first annual Pand R. Bear Grant. It is awarded for excellence in herkies and blog coverage thereof (you were nominated in both categories).
ReplyDeleteI am so honored! Thanks Pand R. Bear Foundation! Where did you send the fat herky check?
ReplyDeleteThis is as close as I'll ever get. Phone rings. I answer:
ReplyDeleteMe: Hello.
Other person: Hi, this is the MacArthur Foundation. Congratulations! We are awarding you a Genius Grant for your work on the complex social dynamics of starling flocking behavior.
Me: But I study polyphenols.
Other person: Oh, sorry, wrong number.
Love the post. Love the Real Genius photo.
ReplyDeleteLove that they gave my favorite author the grant. They told me you're next, but I'm still waiting.