B.O.T.

You know, I was all prepared to angrily rant at you mysterious Board of Trustees. Something along the lines of “who are you people and why the hell are you deciding my tenure fate?”…but then I looked you up on the university webpage. Wow. Can I have your job? It sounds fascinating. I am not kidding. There you all were, short bios, a headshot, a schedule of meetings and agendas (with follow-up reports and minutes), and well, I am impressed. It looks like YOU are the people who make ALL of the interesting decisions around here. I guess I sort of knew that, but I never really delved into the details of what you do and don’t do, who you are, and the extent of your decisions. I am now completely envious of your awesome powers. I bet your meetings are actually interesting, which for me means discussing topics with real implications amongst people with thoughtful opinions, hopefully with a light lunch. I myself have spent very little time in such meetings, but it sounds like ALL of your meetings are this way. You look like an interesting bunch, doctors, lawyers, business people, assorted professionals, and you are surprisingly diverse. Can I have your job? Instead of just granting me tenure can I join your group? You probably think that I am being sarcastic, or that this is some weak attempt to curry your favor. But I am not. I am simply envious of your job.