Sunday, August 8, 2010

Syllabusted

I get it. I really do. For the sake of consistency and the prevention of future headaches we are all required to insert some very specific statements regarding disabilities and academic dishonesty. Fine. I can see the utility of that. But why must I insert multiple paragraphs of ridiculously wordy, overly complex bullshit? Who writes this crap? University lawyers I assume. And why does it keep getting longer?

It’s simple. If you have some type of disability contact these people, here’s their email address, phone number, and office location. They’ll contact me and we’ll figure it out. If you cheat, and yes- you do know what that means (so don’t even try to convince me that you don’t) I will bring academic dishonesty charges against you. Here’s a link to what that entails. Simple enough. But instead, I have to say this, that, and the other thing in order to cover every possible ass you can think of. It’s making the information you are trying to convey more confusing, the specificity is making it more open to interpretation and most importantly, it is fucking up the layout of my damn syllabus.

27 comments:

  1. What you are talking about is analogous to a well-known phenomenon in consumer product safety regulation: if you require warnings about everyfuckingthing, no matter how de minimus, then consumers just tune out all the warnings and don't pay attention even to the ones that might be salient.

    Like in California, every product and place in the fucken whole state is plastered with all those signs warning you that the shit contains shit "known to cause cancer". You just tune it out.

    Oh, and Ma'am, I'm gonna have to ask you to step out of the car. RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!

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  2. Do you make them sign it, too? We do. By signing this page I agree that I have read and agree to the terms of this syllabus, yada yada yada.

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  3. I love the idea of a link to All University Policies -- boy, that would save a lot of space -- not to mention paper & ink for my colleagues who still insist on producing paper syllabai.

    Syllabus-making = pain in the ass.

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  4. No kidding, bitternsweet! I'm up to TWO. PAGES. of school-mandated warnings/info/RBOC.

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  5. ...I ask because you're so damn cranky!

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  6. Sh*t...please don't refer to your blog aims about how this is the one forum for your crankiness. I couldn't cope with the slap. I was just reading your post, feeling the charm, and then wondered how you function, and whether some special lady (or man) sees your fine brand of frowniness as adorable.

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  7. Well, that was a very direct question- it probably deserves an answer. So.....

    No, I do not make students sign the syllabus.

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  8. Oh, how I want my syllabus to say this: "If you cheat, and yes- you do know what that means (so don’t even try to convince me that you don’t)"!

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  9. They won't stop until your syllabus is 50 pages. Just lettin' you know.

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  10. As a doctoral student who has ready waaay too many syllabi, I can tell you that we don't even read all of that crap!! Its a waste of trees in my mind...sigh.

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