Fucking hell. My house is a wreck. Wrap it up author! You keep sucking me in with crazy fantastic writing. I’ve been subsisting on coffee and nutter-butters for days now. You are completely interfering with my life Book! I thought I would hate you, I tried to read you once before. Your opening salvo of introducing way too many characters at once in a setting I normally find boring is why you sat neglected for so long. I started again. I was skeptical of you Book. Now look at me. I’m a mess. You are not a casual sex type book. We are in a damn relationship now! We need to end this. I love you, but we can’t go on like this forever.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Dear Book,
Fucking hell. My house is a wreck. Wrap it up author! You keep sucking me in with crazy fantastic writing. I’ve been subsisting on coffee and nutter-butters for days now. You are completely interfering with my life Book! I thought I would hate you, I tried to read you once before. Your opening salvo of introducing way too many characters at once in a setting I normally find boring is why you sat neglected for so long. I started again. I was skeptical of you Book. Now look at me. I’m a mess. You are not a casual sex type book. We are in a damn relationship now! We need to end this. I love you, but we can’t go on like this forever.
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You have got to tell us what you're reading! It's only fair!
ReplyDeleteI agree!
ReplyDeleteDamn, now that there's a SOAP BOX! I love how it's upside down, particularly with those umbrella and margarita glass symbols CLEARLY EXPLAINING which is the UP direction and which is the DOWN direction. You drink from the umbrella and you stick the cup on your head to keep the rain off. Got it. Must be the same people who bring you the Fuck the Hoff cup! jc
ReplyDeleteA really good BOOK is dangerous. Leads to sleep deprivation and the associated mental delusions that go with that. What the fuck, just marry it and get it over with. FU,P was a role model of sorts. Call it a starter marriage and move on when something better hits the market!
ReplyDeleteIs that book made out of stone? Because: ow. Too interesting AND carpal-tunnel-causing. I'm worried for you, Doc.
ReplyDeleteToo many characters, Hmmm. I want to know the book!
ReplyDeleteWhy does giving up the book title seem like divulging personal information?
ReplyDeleteBecause when you tell someone the name of a book you love, they often seem to judge you. Just a little.
ReplyDeleteBut we wouldn't do that!
Yeah, that's it. With this book, it's like stumbling upon a band that you've never heard of and really digging one album...will your music friends mock you? Tell you that the band is really just a bunch of hacks, that so-and-so is WAY better at that genre?
ReplyDeleteClearly I have some literary insecurities!
ReplyDeleteI have had many a torrid affair with a book. The title, the genre, the author -- they are all interchangeable. 'Tis the passion that is so addictive.
ReplyDeleteWell put Clio.
ReplyDeleteI've been trying to come up with a list of possible non-casual sex-like books with oodles of characters that Dr. No might fall in love with (so something with wicked wit):
ReplyDeleteA Prayer for Owen Meany?
Moo?
Middlesex?
The Corrections?
Am I close? Is it from the late 20th century, or should I be checking out the 21st?
I'm giggly with curiosity!
Middlesex was really good...but think middle-ish 20th century. (This is fun, I don't know that many people in "real life" with the book smarts you bloggers have)
ReplyDeleteOooh, a bloggame! I probably should have asked if it's by an American?
ReplyDelete1. Mary McCarthy's The Group (not exactly lovable, or even sex, but lots of both mixed with wicked satire)?
2. Heller's Catch 22??? or Mailer's The Naked and the Dead? (war wit?)
3. Graham Greene?? (war, sex, politics and wit?) or early Updike (just sex)?
4. Or an academic satire like McCarthy's Groves? Jarrell's Pictures? Lucky Jim by that Brit?
5. On the Road??? Or Vonnegut? Bellow? (Ok, cheating with authors rather than titles!)
6. OH, wait: John Fowles? French Lt. Women? or better yet, The Magus???? Yum!
7. Lots of characters, tho....something by Michener? Irving Stone? Leon Uris?
Oh I've read some of these. Think war (but homefront), lots of military jargon, and lots of internal dialogue.
ReplyDelete(song as requested now posted to your comments Anniem, feel free to sing along everybody!)
I ADORE my song! Thank you thank you! I've been singing it for the last hour. And to think you left your literary lover to write me a song;) Check it out here: http://annieem.wordpress.com/2009/07/27/summer-fun-for-educators/#comments
ReplyDeleteOk, good clues. Could be Mrs. Dalloway, except for the military jargon that's missing, so I'll say The Things They Carried? A fabulous anti war book.....;-)
Well, the author inists on using military titles, there is zero sex (bummer), and...(this is a big clue) LOTS of airplanes.
ReplyDeleteOOOH, I need to know which book this is too!
ReplyDeleteTeasing the ladies, I see, Dr No.
ReplyDeleteJust a little honest fun, I mean we can't ALL be flitting around town in pretty dresses for birthday celebrations!
ReplyDeleteI should probably just give up the title eh?
YES, please! I can't stop trying to guess. Must admit that my catalogue of airplane-related texts is slim.
ReplyDeleteYour friend, the blogging hobo (again)
OK, so I just spent all of 5 minutes googling the author of the book I just COMPLETED. I guess some folks think the author is some kind of conservative ass-wad. But damn, I dug this book:
ReplyDeleteGuard of Honor by James Gould Cozzens
Finally!
ReplyDelete(I swear, I woke up at 3am last night still thinking about a damned war book with lots of airplanes, and got sidetracked with the airplanes, thinking it was Fear of Flying by Jong, but of course there's no WAR in that book, unless you meant war between the sexes.....).
Clearly, I need to take a nap....