Monday, January 12, 2009

You Win

Excuse me, can I please say something? It will just take a minute. Thank you. We have been in this meeting for 1 hour and 20 minutes now. I have reached my limit. If this goes on much longer I will have no choice but to pry open one of these windows and escape. Person across the table: you can come with me, I see the pain in your eyes. Look, we have not addressed a single item on the agenda. NOT ONE. That is because we clearly have the wrong agenda. For the last hour, and now 25 minutes, we have had one single unwritten and unspoken agenda item. Our task? To openly declare that Dr. From Another Department is the most intelligent, creative, and well-spoken person to have ever graced our conference room. He’s been yammering for what is now going on one and a half hours… are his words not music to our ears? Can we not agree that our entire perspective on the universe is fundamentally changed by his various ramblings? What the hell dude? How long can you talk? We invited you because this is a multidisciplinary issue, we expected you to sit and be bored like the rest of us and chime in when needed. However, you have dominated the conversation. Well, it’s not even a conversation, more of a soliloquy on your part. Can we just have a quick vote and get this over with? All in favor of declaring Dr. From Another Department our new department head, personal mentor, and father of our children, vote, “AYE!” now, and we can get the hell out of here. Those not in favor, join me in prying open this window.

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