Saturday, September 18, 2010

Confession: Thetan Count Rising Edition

When I was young, and I mean young in terms of my academic career- so young that I had just realized what my college major should be, I had some insanely naïve views about scholars. I knew nothing about academic life. I just knew that some person wrote my textbook, taught my classes and wrote articles that were assigned for reading. Collectively they formed a mysterious people, a tribe of scholars that I made both exotic and admirable. It seemed so cool to me that they, these names I knew, were discovering things. I imagined their names attached to those perfect scholars we see in TIAA-CREF ads but more cracked out on tweed. I was ready to undergo training, perform indoctrination rites and drink the Kool-Aid. The moment I decided to be a myrealobjologist, that I would keep that textbook, this image of scholars began to erode. Bit by bit I learned about those people whose tribe I wanted to join, and the deeper into it you get the less envious the society becomes. Did I want to come back from sabbatical and encounter this?

No. Damn. Seriously. This is not what I wanted to come back to.

77 comments:

  1. Dude, press that fucken bar! I just *know* a fucken pellet's gonna come out this time!

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  2. Schrödinger's rat? half-dead or half-alive?

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  3. Yes! A pellet will make everything better!

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  4. No, wrong answer. A pellet will not come out. You will get a shock instead.
    jc

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  5. Uh-huh. (Nodding sympathetically). Been there. Done that. No pellet, no kool-aid.

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  6. To paraphrase the Matrix, there IS no pellet. ;)

    Am sorry that you have delved beneath the facade and found it wanting. But I am awarding you 100 shiny star stickers for the phrase "but more cracked out on tweed."

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  7. Stop trying to make the pellet happen. It's not going to happen.
    /mean girl jc

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  8. Ooooh, the shock makes me tingle!

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  9. I'm a second year grad student and I've definitely been disappointed many times at the man behind the curtain. I'm sure after I'm accepted into PhD programs (hopefully) it will only get worse.

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  10. Ink, frankly my dear, it don't give a pellet.
    jc

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  11. Camus discusses this very enigma in The Myth of Sisyphus and The Absurd. But Groucho said it best when he stated, "I don't want to belong to any club that is willing to have me as a member".

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  12. On the bright side, at least this profession/tribe allows for sabbaticals. That's worth a shock or two, yes?

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  13. but more cracked out on tweed. Heh heh

    Seriously though, what is a sabbatical and what's this tenure thing? In other news if I publish one more paper then I'll be happy/have a job. No? Maybe ten more papers and then I'll be happy...

    -antipodean

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  14. As God is my witness, JC, I will never go pelletless again.

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  22. Stop trying to make the pellet happen. It's not going to happen.

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