Monday, May 17, 2010

Comings & Goings

Have you ever seen a Kum & Go store? The first time I saw one I cracked the fuck up. Really? Kum & Go? Do I have an unusually dirty mind or is that not a rather risqué name for a convenience store? It brings up all kinds of dirty connotations for me. But then again I’m the kind of person that can still get a good laugh out of Uranus jokes. I prefer the pronunciation “your anus” not that “yura nus” crap I remember high school science teachers using (although I still find it funny that they used “yura nus” due more so to their own embarrassment at saying “anus” rather than any commitment to scientific nomenclature). I can’t help it. Uranus is the funniest planet and Kum & Go is just a damn nasty name for a chain of convenience stores. I bring this up because I’ve been coming and going (to and from places people! for those of you with extremely dirty minds) a lot lately.

I just returned from tropical paradise. I am brown and happy. Well, that’s not entirely true. I am mostly brown, white in some important places and a little red― but happy. I have complained endlessly about my job. But you know, it enables me to have a lot of shit I really love. Tropical vacations for one. I mean I just went on vacation from sabbatical! That’s beautiful. I have no idea who came up with the “academic sabbatical” but it’s fucking brilliant and I like to think whoever that person is they’re a Uranus giggler too. Come to think of it I should probably know the history of academic sabbaticals…but I don’t and I don’t really give a fuck. That person will just remain a mysterious entity bringing happiness much happiness to the world.

16 comments:

  1. There's one on my damn corner. *eyeroll*

    How about Sheetz? of course it's pronounced Shitz by the kidz.

    YAY for happiness and shit you love. Welcome back No.
    jc

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  2. Ink gets a fruity tutti tiki cocktail! --->
    I love the pink umbrella.
    jc

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  3. I confess, I giggled at it, too.

    I also have to keep myself from referring to Teddy Roosevelt's "Big Dick Diplomacy" in front of classes. It's sad.

    I envy your sabbaticals. One day, when I grow up and become a real historian, I might get one too.

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  4. Dr. No, thank you for my very own Rumbrellanana! I am honored and hammered, all at once. Because I drank it really, really fast the *instant* I saw it.

    You are the coolest.

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  5. AND: welcome home! Am so glad that you had a fabulous vacation.

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  6. Really? You didn't photoshop that store name, Dr. No? In what part of the blue/red/pink US of A does such a store exist with such an hysterical name??!

    Ok, Google to the rescue: the midwest! And look: they are having a name that cup contest, perfect for the sabbaticalizing Dr. No! http://www.kumandgo.com/

    Welcome back to reality, or the blogosphere, whatever....

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  7. Hey everybody!

    JC: and don't forget Homo erectus.

    Clio: Ha! and those great booby birds! And you SHOULD have a damn sabbatical.

    Ink: Quick! Eat the rum soaked fruit to soak up the alcohol!

    AnnieEm: Ooooh! CONTEST!

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  8. Doesn't sabbatical ROCK? And a vacay from sabbatical? You really know how to live. Maybe we shouldn't talk about the fact that "sabbatical" comes from the "sabbath."

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  9. I find it additionally amusing that "Kum & Go" is the name of a convenience store. That certainly would be convenient, albeit hardly romantic!

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  10. Oh yeah! The fruitsh is deffffffffintely the besht part.

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  11. Speaking as someone who usually manages to contain Uranus-related giggles, there is just no way any human could look at a Kum & Go without thinking some dirty thoughts. Maybe they're mild-mannered convenience store by day, one-stop House of Ill Repute by night?

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  12. Kum & Go: the one-stop shop for all your House of Ill Repute needs! Come for the happy endings, stay for the Slushies.

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  13. I'm glad to see that it's not just me. I think Kum and Go may even have a fan page on Facebook.

    As for Uranus jokes, perhaps you've heard the Futurama version? Where dirty snickers encouraged people to change the name of the planet...to Urectum.

    And now that my inner 12 year old has spewed, it's back to work.

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  14. Ok. Well I might stick to this academic gig then! Thanks Dr.

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  15. Welcome back! I'm all jealous n' shit.
    I taught my kid that after Saturn comes the planet you can say two ways: yura nus, or the way that sounds like "anus", your anus! He appreciates the option. Unfortunately, he usually says yura nus. Chicken.

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  16. We don't have Kum & Go in my part of the midwest. But my inner 12-year-old rejoices in what we do have:

    St Louis Screw and Bolt
    Big Boy Steel Erection
    Rogers Tool Works
    B & D Motors

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