Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Remember The Regal Beagle

That is both a question and a command. That cozy lounge where the Three’s Company folks hung out, remember? It was where Jack, Janet, and a revolving troop of idiotic blond Chrissy’s went to have a drink, Jack’s friend (whoever the hell he was) would often be there and the Ropers maybe too? Sorry, my memory of the Regal Beagle is a little hazy. I was pretty young when Three’s Company was on. I remember only that every episode seemed the same. As a kid, each show went like this: “important thing” must happen, misunderstanding occurs, hijinks threatening the outcome of "important thing” ensues, Janet must be made to prove her worth in some way in an attempt to overcome her “not the pretty” one role, Chrissy won’t fuck Jack (which even as a kid I was sick and tired of the whole gay/not gay Jack joke thread), everything works out and you go to the Regal Beagle for a cocktail. I don’t think I’ve seen the show since I was a little sarcastic wee one― so that impression of the show is all I have to work with. But I liked the Regal Beagle. As a kid it struck me as soooooo grown-up. The kind of place I never went to because it was for grown-ups …where even if I did get to go, I’d have to drink some stupidly named soda-with-a-cherry-drink in the corner.

Now that I’m grown up, where oh where is my damn Regal Beagle? Can’t I go out for a drink without running into some student? I thought the Regal Beagle was supposed to be relaxed and boozy. Not a place where one has to hear “Hey I was in your class!” or drunken graduate student research fantasies* Anyway, I want the Regal Beagle!

*there is a place for those, we expect to hear them every time we invite you to a party- it’s OK we expect it. Carry on.


  1. Well I must be as young as you, Dr. No, since that's about what I remember about that show--though if you'd asked me what the Regal Beagle was I would have had no clue (I think I leapt from wanting to be in Peter Brady's bedroom to joining Lilith and Frazier at Cheers).

    But since you did command me, yes, I shall remember the Regal Beagle!

  2. his friend's name was

  3. That's pretty much what I remember, too. Also: every episode had people in the kitchen trying to keep the people outside the kitchen from hearing what they were plotting.

    And Mrs. Roper's caftans.

    And Mr. Roper creeped me out, though I'm not sure why.

  4. Yes, Larry the used car salesman who had chest hair and gold chains! And Mr. Roper was creepy because he always leered at the girls even though he was old and pasty.

    But I had forgotten about the Regal Beagle! A place where one goes to drink Harvey Wallbangers, suppose.

    In grad school, I had a bar that I haunted almost nightly. Weeknights tended to be for real locals without many students. Some of us who clerked at local indie stores--the local indepedent theater, the local music shop, the local bookstore (that was me)--had Wednesday night "union" meetings at the bar. It was great and very "Cheers"-like (albeit the bar wasn't nearly as nice as cheers).

    But you're right Dr. No, it's very difficult to find a good bar without students. Of course, if you look up "dive bar" in Wikipedia, you'll find the picture of a bar that is walking distance from my house. I guarantee you there are no students there, but, still, it's definitely no Regal Beagle.

  5. We need a crusty old leather-armchaired oxbridge-style tweed-wallpapered open-fired staff club is what we need.

    Oi! Vice-Chancellor!...

    I prefer my local bar. It's usually full of tattooed lesbians.


  6. Careful what you wish for. The divier bars that we thought as kids would be so cool and grown-up to hang out in are generally a) sleazy and gross, and b) eventually discovered and overrun by hipster douchebags seeking irony. There are more than a few former students and grad students among those hipster douchebags. The trick is to find a hang-out bar that's pleasant without being either grotty or trendy.

  7. I hear and obey the demand that I remember the Beagle, though I never remember seeing them *in* the place. I remember much of what Ink does...that the swinging kitchen door formed the fulcrum of almost every show, and what happened in versus out of the kitchen was the point. And I remember more Mr. Farley than the Ropers, but I loathed them all. All. And yet watched every time it was on because we had, what, three channels back then?
    Sometimes you wanna be where nobody knows your name and the Scotch is always poured.

  8. Nap, I love that you called the door "the fulcrum"! You are awesome.

    And it's funny to remember that there were only three channels for most of our young lives. Because students today cannot fathom that. Or that we had to GET UP AND WALK OVER TO THE TV to change said channels. ;)

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