Sunday, April 12, 2009
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- Dr. No
- Ivory Tower, University Town
- As a frequently disgruntled University professor I have started this blog to vent my frustrations. I can express my anger here, or unleash it upon my unsuspecting colleagues and students. For the sake of continued employment, lets give this a try.
Important Issues
Followers
I think my life is now worse for having experienced Mistral. As far as French lovers go, he is one of those sleazy seventeen-year-old boys who preys on American exchange students. He takes them out to "authentically" filthy hole-in-the-wall pasta restaurants so they feel spontaneous, then kisses them on the hand outside his apartment and pulls them inside. Everything is lovely by night but in the morning when they wake up, they find his three fat French roommates leering at them and suddenly it is light enough to count the notches on his bed. They feel dirty and regretful, much the way I imagine Mistral's creator does.
ReplyDelete[Laughing Too Hard. Must...Breathe!] "Zut alors" reminded me of the days when our French teacher wandered the room muttering in outrage at how badly we were slaughtering her beloved language. And "shuffle ball change" took me back to tap dancing classes, when I was 5. I totally rocked that sequined leotard in the recital, btw. Thanks for the memories.
ReplyDeleteInk, you did sequined tap dancing, too? Did you have a matching glitter top hat like I did?
ReplyDeleteOMG, YES. I almost wrote about my glitter top hat but stopped short... Girlfriend! We are Tap Twins!
ReplyDeleteDr. No, do you have a glitter or bedazzled top hat?
And Pander, I forgot to say this before: your first comment above is a true work of art.
ReplyDeleteI suspect Mistral and Kristen ITC had the lovely romantic experience you describe Panderbear, resulting in the creation of Tempus Sans ITC.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a glitter hat- which is lame, cause now I want one! I did have that French teacher...ugh, that's a memory lane not worthy of strolling.
I once had a student turn in a 5 page paper all in Kristen ITC. Because, you know, her name was Kristen and wasn't that cool?
ReplyDeleteNo, no it wasn't.
Nice one, Dr. What about Comic Sans MS, the patronising middle management of fonts. He gets off on "transferable skills."
ReplyDeleteAt the risk of making everyone jealous, I currently own tap shoes and was taking lessons until schedule changes made it too difficult. I'll probably start up again soon. I wrote post about it, too, that included my own shuffle-ball-change reference along with an account of my discomfort at have 15-year old girls watch my butt as it shuffle ball changed across the room. Watch out Broadway font, here I come!
ReplyDeleteGood Enough, you never cease to surprise me.
ReplyDeleteOk, I'm jealous. But do you have a glitter top hat? ;)
ReplyDeleteI do not have a glitter top hat. Nor do I have a fancy costume. That's one thing about being a 40-year-old beginner-to-intermediate tap dancer. Nobody really wants to dress you up in sequins and put you on stage. I guess it's just not that cute anymore . . .
ReplyDeleteI have to ask -- have you ever worked in design? I know some designers, and to be fair, okay wait, here's a question for you: times new roman or perpetua?
ReplyDeleteVellum: Must I choose? I like Perpetua (cute little serifs), but the numbers look odd and I HAVE to have good numbers...Times New Roman is just so damn easy to read, but boring. They just have different feels you know? Both make it onto my good fonts list though... (I assume I just failed the designer font challenge, as I should)
ReplyDeleteLOL no, no -- in fact noticing the numbers in Perpetua might be a sign that you -should- have been a designer ;) everyone has a little OCD in them, those with a lot, it appears, become designers ^___^
ReplyDeleteAlso, "Damn your extravagant serifs! I swear fealty only to Helvetica" would be an acceptable designer answer as well, from what I can tell. Oh and if anybody ever asks you "Arial or Helvetica" I think the correct answer is always Helvetica. This kind of thing comes in handy if you ever need to sneak into a seminar on the new Adobe creative suite.
(And in case you're wondering why you'd ever do that, two words: free sandwiches.)
Yes ALWAYS Helvetica! Ariel is just a cheap knock-off...have you seen the Helvetica documentary? (Yes, I am a big enough font nerd that I was excited to watch the film)
ReplyDeleteOk, Dr. No., it's time. You've clearly established yourself ready for the wonder that is THIS site . A little gift from one font nerd to another. Go forth and mock, my friend.
ReplyDeleteObviously, I completely forgot how to use periods in the first two sentences above. I especially like how I put one after "No" for no apparent reason.
ReplyDeleteI mean: no. apparent. reason.
Think I have been grading for too many hours straight!!!!! In the words of George Costanza, "I'm losing it!"
We are ALL losing it! Yeah fonts! (true confession: I have previously downloaded a Metallica AND an IHOP font!- I'll go play on that site now, more exclamation points are needed, aaahhhhh!!!!!!!)
ReplyDeleteschool. end. now. must.
ReplyDeleteMetallica and IHOP? Score!
ReplyDeleteI'm not even going to tell you how many of those fonts I've downloaded. I think I have a problem.
It's not a PROBLEM. It is a perfectly normally (obsessive) interest (fascination) to have (whew, glad you have it too).
ReplyDeleteExactly!! Perhaps we need to make up some t-shirts? People Without Any Obsessive Tendencies Whatsoever Enjoy Pondering Fonts For Hours...
ReplyDeleteYou mean "PWAOTWEPFFH" shirts!?!
ReplyDeleteoh my god. you saw it (the helvetica documentary) too? i thought i was the only one!
ReplyDeleteYes, PWAOTWEPFFH, which (most coincidentally) is also the sound I make when I find a very exciting font!
ReplyDeleteps: I'm STILL laughing at the herky picture.
ReplyDelete